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BRAND NEW FENDER STRATA GUITAR WITH BRAND NEW LINE 6 AMP in Toronto, Ontario

BRAND NEW FENDER STRATA GUITAR WITH BRAND NEW LINE 6 AMP
BRAND NEW FENDER STRATA GUITAR WITH BRAND NEW LINE 6 AMP BRAND NEW FENDER STRATA GUITAR WITH BRAND NEW LINE 6 AMP BRAND NEW FENDER STRATA GUITAR WITH BRAND NEW LINE 6 AMP
Price: $330
Date/Time:14 Dec, 08:17 p.m. EST
Type: Music instruments
State: Ontario  City: Toronto  Category: Music instruments
Music instruments in Ontario
This ad is older than 2 months.
View similar ads: Music instruments, Music instruments in Ontario

Hello all. Well it came to my attention that the "snow blower sensation" ad has razzled and dazzled many via his "wit" and transformed himself into a "local " celebrity !? In the words of a pre teen..Really?
So I got to thinking that if selling a snow blower in Moncton is what it takes, after doing a quick scan of the surrounding in my room I thought perhaps I will offer the world a chance to buy something that will not only make the said "Local celebrity" return to his day job prior to said "celebrity " status but further more it will make you, the buyer of the said "item of desire" (humm no this isn't a Craigslist posting) at least a "regional celebrity?, guaranteed *
(*not a real guarantee , just used for dramatic effects only . You know it worked)
So after further ado let me allow myself to describe what will forever change your life henceforth ..(purchase necessary, obviously)
What does ever guy and a girl want you ask yourself ? I just asked myself .. Well the former wants a guitar and the latter wants the former with a guitar of course . So as you have figured out that I am indeed selling my guitar , which henceforth shall be referred to as a "prized guitar" in the ad...for no particular reason other than to make it more appealing to you all of course..
The guitar comes fully assembled and ready to use as it has NEVER been used as I don?t know how . If requested I will include instructions and or demonstrate how to unzip the case to get it out .. It's a beautiful sea foam and white in color. Unlike in humans ,color does matter. Take my word for it. The only reason I bought the said guitar when I had never played a guitar in my life was the color .. I won't elaborate on that more as it might influence you to not buy this ..but no worries, it's not stolen and was obtained by legal means. The only thing illegal about it is the ridiculously low price I'm selling it for ( see what I just did there)? If you don't see it please feel free to lowball me.
A bit of a history on this prized guitar. This is not the guitar Eric Clapton used whilst on tour. Any resemblance is purely fabricated by the seller (me) .. This is also not the guitar that inspired the game guitar hero. Although after taking one look at it I'm sure the developers wish in retrospect that it were . This is however the same guitar that was/is used in the making of this very ad.
I must also mention here that this is truly a green purchase. Not just for the color but it also runs on electricity. Buy with confidence that you are not leaving a large carbon footprint with this purchase. Your kids and grandkids and so forth will breathe easy, the same cant be guaranteed of your ear drums . So no pesky diesel fumes whilst little Timmy or little Tory strums away into the wee hours of the morning . You will take great pride and joy as you drive by one music shop to another after this purchase just to not stop and continue driving with a look of smug satisfaction on your face and of quizzical confusion/annoyance on the faces of the salesperson of the aforementioned stores that you drive by. (If you are 18 + you might be required/forced to stop frequently to sign the bra of adoring fans, also 18+)
Sadly you might not be eligible for the green tax credit anymore in Ontario. I also will not be responsible for any tickets you receive if you decide to take the said prized green guitar in the HOV /green permitted lanes around the GTA..
As if the deal is not sweet enough to put you into a diabetic coma (if that does happen stop reading any further and seek immediate medical attention and absolve me of all liability to the nearest non comatose witness)
I'm also including a brand new amp with the sale as well totally and absolutely FREE!!!!!!!!!!!! Well not really ?free?but hey, whats the harm in a little white lie amongst friends?
***************************************WARNING*********************************
If you are a female and you catch your boyfriend reading/ replying nay merely glancing casually at this ad, please smash the computer and or the screen instantly. Possession of the said prized guitar guarantees instant attraction/lust/undivided attention from the opposite sex. Your Relationship will be harmed and or seriously jeopardized!
********************************End of warning stanza***************************
We all know that the world is coming to an end soon, I mean isn't it ? If not next year than perhaps in the next few million years/eons eventually .. Don't you want to depart your "worldly vessel " having had a chance to play a guitar ? I know I could care less but I'm sure you don't and must give yourself the pleasure , nay honor of playing this prized guitar.
I can say with absolute uncertainly that you will feel empty and or un content if you deprived yourself of this once in a lifetime or the length of time my ad stays on the first few pages on here the opportunity to own a piece of (recent)history.
This is a limited time offer and is strictly limited to the time it would take someone to make me an offer..
But wait...there's "more"
If you buy this Soonish I will include free express shipping and handling "anywhere"**
(** I will express great pleasure as I handle the said item from the trunk of my car as I "ship it over" to your mode of conveyance's trunk/basket/flatbed provided its parked in the adjacent parking spot. )
Lighting at the rendezvous is irrelevant as the deal nay steal you will be getting will shine with the brightness of a thousand suns. Dark parking lots preferred to demonstrate this claim***
(*** the seller is not responsible to validate/demonstrate/encourage/acknowledge any claims made during this entire ad in any shape or form, in spirit or in person)
.
In conclusion to quote an excerpt from a fan of the "snow blower sensation from Moncton " who was "amazed by the other ad ...with a roller coaster of catch phrases" .. You ,kind sir have just come off your juvenile coaster ride and entered a minefield atop a nuclear wasteland that has a fault line going through it and is prone to hurricanes out of season and in..
Disclaimer. Regular font print..
The views ,opinions , strategies or positions expressed by the seller /writer most certainly does not reflect the views , opinion , strategies or positions of the seller/writer



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